Woman 2 Woman Lounge
"Uniting, Edifying, Inspiring, Motivating & Empowering Women"
Nancy Twigg
Bio:
Nancy Twigg has a passion for seeing women set free from clutter that keeps them from being the women God intended them to be. From over a decade, she has been a student of simplicity—learning to declutter her own life and helping others to do the same. Through her speaking and writing, Nancy fulfils her dream of inspiring women to give God the best they have to offer.
Nancy is the editor of Counting the Cost (http://www.countingthecost.com/index1.htm), a newsletter and website dedicated to simple and abundant living. She is also the author of three books, From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out (http://www.countingthecost.com/clutter.htm); Celebrate Simply: Your Guide to Simpler, More Meaningful Holidays and Special Occasions (http://www.celebratesimply.com); and A Month of Mites: 31 Devotionals on Simple Christian Living (http://www.countingthecost.com/mites.htm) . Nancy's work has been published in several national magazines and newsletters and she has been featured in numerous radio and television interviews.Nancy and her family enjoy simple pleasures: ice cream cones, picnics, and Saturday morning yard sales. A perfect day for Nancy includes quiet time with a cup of tea, an early morning jog, an afternoon nap, and at least one piece of chocolate before bed. To learn more about Nancy’s speaking and writing ministry, visit her online at www.nancytwigg.com.
No is Not a Dirty Word
I admit I sometimes hear voices. Not audible voices but, rather, that clear, inner voice I’ve come to recognize as God’s way of sometimes telling me things He wants me to know.
During the time that my daughter, Lydia attended our church’s child care program, our family became very fond of the preschool’s director, Miss Mary. Never have I met anyone with such a heart for children. Because we thought so highly of Miss Mary, imagine what my first thoughts were one day when she told me the child care program was in desperate need of help. A couple of teachers had recently left, and Miss Mary was looking for new employees to fill the vacancies. But in the interim, parents who were able were asked to help out.
Maybe I could spare a morning or two a week, I thought. At the time I was in a busy season of writing. I was also heading up a prayer group and helping out with a Sunday school class at church. I had more than a full plate.
I could rearrange my schedule, I speculated, and get up a little earlier each day. I was already rising at 4:00 am to get in a few hours of work before Lydia woke up. How much earlier did I think I could get up?
Then I heard it. The words were so clear and concise, I knew better than to question what I heard: “Tend your own garden!”
Wanting to support Miss Mary was honorable. Helping fill the vacancies was a good thing, but not one of the best things God was calling me to do. When I thought about it that way, how could I say anything but “no” to that part of me that wanted to say “Sure, I’ll help”?
For many of us, saying no is one of the biggest challenges we face. How do we learn to stop trying to do everything so we can do well the few things God has called us to do? Here are some strategies that have worked for me:
1. Be clear about your priorities. This may sound like a no-brainer. Of course, your first priorities are God, your spouse, and your children. But be more specific. In your mind, what does it mean to put God first? What does it mean to be a good wife and mom? Does being a good mother have to include being soccer mom and den mother every year? Does being a committed Christian mean you must be involved with every project your church sponsors?
2. Classify your priorities in order of importance. As you identify your priorities, it is also helpful to make your own “good, better, best” list of the various commitments in your life. Even within the scope of things that support your core values, inevitably there will be some things that are more beneficial and more supportive of your values than others. For example, having your kids in one extracurricular activity per year may support the priority you place on raising well-rounded children. Allowing more than one sport or club per year may fall into the “good” category—something you’d do only if it didn’t endanger carrying out any of the things in the “best” category.
3. Set a time budget for additional commitments. Once you’re sure what you should focus on, set a limit for how much time you can devote to things that are good but not the best use of your time and energy. How many hours per week can you spare without cutting into the time needed to tend to your own priorities? After looking at your list of most important obligations, you may realize that you can allot only two additional hours per week to good-but-not-best commitments. Use this limit as your guide in accepting or declining additional commitments. When considering something new, remember that in order to stay within your time budget, you must take away one previous commitment for every new one you add.
Are you tired of living in conflict over trying to do it all? Do you want to learn to say no without guilt and yes without sacrificing your sanity? If so, it’s time to move from clutter to clarity. No is not a dirty word. Let go of being a yes-woman so you can be a woman who truly knows how to put first things first.
[Excerpt taken from: From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out © 2007 by Nancy Twigg, published by Standard Publishing (www.standardpub.com). Used by permission.]
by Nancy Twigg
12/08
What pastors and other church leaders usually mean when they talk about stewardship is giving. But don’t assume that’s all there is to it. Stewardship is just as much about living as it is about giving. Good stewardship is about being faithful in using all your resources—not only your money and possessions but your time and talent as well. Stewardship is a duty, but it is also an act of worship (see 2 Corinthians 8:1-5 and Philippians 4:18). How can we look at all that God has poured out into our lives and not want to use those things to please him?
Because Christians have experienced so much of God’s love and grace, you’d think we would be the most conscientious people around when it comes to managing money. Yet this is not always the case. A couple of years ago, I was part of a discussion about stewardship and how it is practiced by Christians today. Several women in the group made interesting observations.
“Based on what I have seen, I don’t believe most Christians are faithful in the little things in regard to finances,” Angel commented. “It is often hard to tell the believers from the nonbelievers, based on their giving and money management. Many do not seem willing to help out fellow Christians in need other than to say ‘I will pray for you.’”
“I am often disheartened by the display of Christians in regard to sharing and managing our finances,” Amiel added. “If there is a food drive or clothing drive, there are many of us who participate, but what food do we contribute? What clothing is given? Often it is the cheapest of store brands, clothing that is far outdated, and toys that have missing pieces or are dirty.”
Another woman, whose husband is a minister in one of the largest denominations in the country, observed that most churches pay their ministers so poorly that church members could never live on those salaries themselves. The churches do this with the assumption that the wife will work to supplement the family income. This makes it extremely difficult for pastors who want their wives to stay home with the children. This woman said that she and her husband often see church members “blow fifty dollars on a meal” and not think anything of it, something the church’s pastors can never do. Not only do some members spend carelessly, they also make poor choices for their families as they pursue bigger homes and more possessions. This woman said she couldn’t help but feel frustrated at times to see Christians show so little concern for how they manage their blessings.
Hebrews 12:1 says, “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” This verse reminds us of what we have been called to do in handling the resources God bestows. Like other forms of clutter, careless money management complicates life by bringing chaos and confusion to our financial affairs. We can quickly lose sight of what it means to respond to God’s goodness with a posture of gratefulness. But being intentional with our money clarifies life by helping us stay focused on doing the best we can with what we’ve been given.
If ever there was a woman who lost control of her priorities, it was Martha,
whose story is recorded in Luke 10. Poor Martha. Too bad she will forever be
remembered as the one who was more concerned about making dinner than making
Jesus feel welcome in her home!
What separates Martha from her sister Mary is that Martha did not order her
time by her priorities. She may have sincerely thought that welcoming Jesus
was most important, but her behavior did not reflect that. It's as if she
had a choice of visiting with Jesus or vacuuming, and she chose the vacuum.
It's not that Mary didn't help out with the chores. I believe she
did-perhaps she did the dishes before Jesus arrived. But once Jesus set foot
in their home, Mary dropped the busy work in favor of what really
mattered-spending quality time with her Lord.
Jesus' response to Martha is just as applicable to us as it was to her:
"Martha, Martha! You are worried and upset about so many things, but only
one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen what is best, and it will not be
taken away from her" (Luke 10:41, 42, CEV).
Let's be honest. Don't we all make Martha's mistake? We mean well. We want
to help out in our children's school and be active in our communities and do
our part at church. As with Martha's cooking and cleaning, there's nothing
inherently wrong with any of these activities. The problem is when they
become a hindrance and keep us from doing what really matters-spending
quality time with our Lord and the people He puts in our path.
Learning to live our priorities actually encompasses all three parts of the
Clarity Principle found in Hebrews 12:1-2. Getting rid of extraneous
obligations and expectations is one of the ways we "throw off everything
that hinders." Not letting the trivial supersede the vital is an example of
how we "run with perseverance the race marked out for us." And ordering our
lives around what God wants is part of how we "fix our eyes on Jesus."
When you truly put first things first, all other things fall in line.
Confusion dissipates. Decisions are much less difficult. If an activity or
commitment fits with what you value most and what you believe God is calling
you to do, the answer is yes. If an activity or commitment doesn't fit with
your priorities, the answer is an unapologetic no. Instead of feeling torn,
you can rest in the knowledge that you are right on target-putting your
energy where it needs to be.
Life is much simpler when your values and decisions are clear and your
decisions clearly support your values.
[Excerpt taken from: From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the
Inside Out C 2007 by Nancy Twigg, published by Standard Publishing
(www.standardpub.com). Used by permission.]
Filling up on God’s Best for You
I confess I am a bit of a junk food junkie. When faced with the choice of fresh fruit or a handful of chocolate chip cookies, I’ll take the cookies every time. Within an otherwise balanced diet,
I know there is nothing wrong with enjoying a few sweets here and
there, but it’s up to me to make sure cookies don’t replace the healthy
foods my body needs. In the same way, when God gives us material possessions
and experiences to enjoy, He wants us to derive pleasure from them, but
He doesn’t want that pleasure to take the place of the spiritual and
emotional sustenance only He can provide.
The Bible warns us about the dangers of
looking to temporary diversions to satisfy deep-seated needs. Isaiah
55:2 asks bluntly, “Why spend money on what is not food? Why work for
what does not satisfy you? Listen carefully to me. Then you will eat
what is good. You will enjoy the richest food there is” (NIRV). In other words, why waste time and money gorging yourself on empty calories
that will never fill you up? Why run yourself ragged chasing after
frivolous things that fade away? God is our only True Source of
satisfaction. Compared to what He offers us, everything else is spiritual junk food.
Life becomes much clearer when you understand that things can never satisfy the deep longings of the heart. When you grasp this truth, you are freed from the constant drive for instant gratification. You are free to enjoy possessions without being controlled by them, because you know they cannot meet all your needs.
So how do you switch your focus from
finding satisfaction in worldly stuff to finding satisfaction in God?
Consider these three steps that will help you:
1. Recognize that there is a problem.
Things God gives us to enjoy can easily stand in the way of our
enjoying God. Have you allowed yourself to be so filled up on junk food
that you don’t have room left for God’s feast? If you’re not sure, ask
God to show you ways in which you regularly look to sources other than
him for fulfillment. When you ask, be ready to be surprised at what he
may reveal! You may realize that some other seemingly harmless habit
isn’t as harmless as you thought.
2. Release that problem to God. Once you have identified problem areas, invite God into the situation to help you change. Ask Him to suppress your appetite for quick fixes and temporary highs and to replace it with a healthy hunger for the lasting satisfaction only He can give. In addition to asking for His help, do your part by positioning yourself to better connect with him. Spend some extra time in prayer. Listen to praise and worship music. Participate in a new Bible study. These activities will help you draw near to God so you can experience fulfillment in Him.
3. Remove yourself from problems before they start.
Make a commitment to avoid those situations in which you are tempted to
seek temporary gratification. If your downfall is shopping at the mall,
go only when you have a legitimate need. If you are a sucker for
mail-order catalogs, don’t even open them before throwing them away. If
you look to entertainment for your feel-goods, restrict the frequency
of your restaurant or movie outings. Break the control these hindrances
have over you by controlling your contact with them.
Have you been trying to find lasting
happiness in temporary pleasures? If so, you are eating a greasy burger
and fries when you could be dining on lobster and prime rib! But as you
learn to depend less and less on things, you will find the clarity of
satisfaction like you’ve never known before.
Byline: Nancy Twigg is an author and speaker who loves inspiring women to live more simply. She is the author of three books and the editor of Counting the Cost Ezine (www.countingthecost.com/index1.htm). To learn more about Nancy’s speaking and writing ministry, visit her online at www.keepitsimplesister.com
The good life is simply a life showered with God’s goodness. Psalm 116:7 says, "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Regardless of your income or social status, God has showered and will continue to shower his goodness on you again and again. You don’t have to fret if your piece of pie doesn’t seem as big as someone else’s. You can rest in thankfulness and appreciation for what you do have, knowing that God has been good to you.
On some level, this tendency to define the good life by worldly standards is a hindrance that entices us all. How easy it is to get caught up in unhealthy comparisons. But remember what Hebrews 12:1 tells us: "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles." Ingratitude is a grievous sin when it causes us to look at our lives through deprivation-colored glasses. But when we change our perspective on what it means to live well, we soon realize that nothing stands in the way of our living the good life—no income shortage, no financial hardship, nothing—except our own attitude toward whatever circumstances we face.
In our fifteen years of marriage, Michael and I have experienced our share of having very little. Most times we have chosen to view our cup as half full rather than half empty. But I can remember a season during which I struggled with this. It was during the Christmas holidays right before our daughter was born. Our businesses had not done well that year, and with the added expenses of a pregnancy without insurance coverage, our budget was even tighter than usual by the time the holidays rolled around.
"I wish Christmas would just go away!" I told Michael in a moment of frustration as we talked about whether we should buy a Christmas tree that year. We could barely afford inexpensive presents for everyone on our list; how could we justify spending even fifteen to twenty dollars more for a small tree?
I felt poor, and I didn’t like the feeling one bit. Intellectually, I knew Christmas was not about how much we could spend or whether we had elaborate decorations. I also knew we had more than our share to be thankful for—not the least of which was a beautiful baby on the way. Yet in my heart I couldn’t shake the feeling of being deprived because our holiday celebration would be much simpler than that of our relatives and friends.
Have you ever experienced a similar situation? Are you feeling that life has dealt you a bad hand compared with that of someone else? Here are some things I did that you can also do to help move from feeling sorry for yourself to feeling grateful within your circumstances:
Refocus on your blessings. Although we couldn’t afford expensive gifts, we could afford to give each person on our list something. Although we couldn’t buy a tree, we had an ample supply of decorations to make the house look festive. What can you be thankful for in your current circumstances? Instead of focusing on what isn’t as you’d like it to be, focus on the blessings to be found when you choose to look for them.
Put your creativity to work. I worked hard at finding out-of-the-ordinary ways for us to give of ourselves while still giving within our means. Instead of feeling bad because I couldn’t buy expensive gifts, I focused on using my time and talents to express my love for each person on my list. Likewise, you will probably feel much better about your situation if you approach it with a healthy dose of creativity. Look for ways to enjoy simple pleasures and make the most of what you have.
Let go of preconceived expectations and ideas. Having a good Christmas that year required that I let go of any expectations about what an enjoyable holiday celebration was supposed to be. I knew that if I busied myself with being thankful and resourceful, there wouldn’t be much time left for feeling sorry for myself. You too may have to let go of some preconceived notions about what it means for you and your family to have a satisfying life. Ask God to help you let go of worldly definitions of success and accomplishment so you can embrace his definition of living the good life.
Has the habit of comparison held you back? Have you allowed ingratitude to sneak in and steal your joy? If so, it’s time to get rid of any faulty perceptions of what it means to live well. Choose instead to live with gratitude, and rest in the clarity of God’s goodness.
[Excerpt taken from: From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out © 2007 by Nancy Twigg, published by Standard Publishing (www.standardpub.com). Used by permission.]
Nancy Twigg is an author and speaker who loves inspiring women to live more simply. To learn more about Nancy’s speaking and writing ministry, visit her online at www.keepitsimplesister.com
Making Time for God
On a scale of one to ten, how’s your spiritual hunger level? Do you often find your spirit rumbling because your last spiritual nibble didn’t fill the bill? Does your relationship with God feel less like a hearty breakfast and more like a quick cup of coffee to go?
Unfortunately for many of us, spiritual snacking is the norm rather than the exception. We want to connect with God, but our schedules are so full that a quick prayer or an occasional glance at the Scriptures is all we can manage. We know we need a balanced diet for our spirits, yet we just can’t seem to find time to make it happen.
Is it possible to be too busy for God? Our adversary loves to make us think so. Keeping us too occupied to connect with God is one of his favorite tricks. It doesn’t matter to him what we busy ourselves with, but being the sly dog that he is, he particularly enjoys using things we think we’re doing for God to keep us from spending quality time with God. We can easily become so caught up in doing good things that seem important that we can’t find time to do the things that are vital. And the most necessary of those is staying in close contact with God.
"Don’t just stand there. Do something!" How many times have you heard that, or said that or even thought that to yourself? In our warp-speed world, we think that unless we are moving forward at a furious pace, we are not accomplishing anything of value. That is one of the reasons why it is so hard for many of us to spend time alone with God. Somehow it doesn’t feel right to be sitting still, reading the Bible, praying, or journaling quietly, when there’s so much around us to be done. But what we don’t realize is that those quiet moments of "doing nothing" have a great impact on the rest of the day.
Failing to make time for God complicates life by keeping us focused on our own abilities—what we can accomplish within any given day. We’re afraid that if we slow down, we’ll lose ground, but actually the opposite is true: by taking time to fuel up, we plug in to God. He has infinite ability to work wonders with our time, and when we give him the first portion of it, we put ourselves in a position to gain ground.
Being still doesn’t come naturally for most of us, but did you know that the Bible actually commands it? Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." He is the One over everything. Nothing is beyond His abilities; nothing is headed your way that He doesn’t already know about. No matter what pressing needs or urgent demands are on your schedule, He wants to be included—not excluded because you think you cannot squeeze Him in.
What does God want you to do when the demands of life press in? Listen again to what Psalm 46:10 says. Got a big assignment due at work? Be still, and know that I am God. Are there children who constantly need your attention? Is housework piling up all around you? Be still, and know that I am God. Is your family in a financial hole or, worse, a financial crisis? Be still, and know that I am God. Whatever is going on in your life, He wants you to rest in the confidence that He is in control.
In our own strength we can’t deal with everything life throws our way. Connecting with God regularly clarifies life because it fills our tanks with the spiritual fuel we need.
[Excerpt taken from: From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying
Life from the Inside Out © 2007 by Nancy Twigg, published by Standard
Publishing (www.standardpub.com). Used by
permission.]
Byline: Nancy Twigg is an author and
speaker who loves inspiring women to live more simply. To learn more about
Nancy’s speaking and writing ministry, visit her online at www.keepitsimplesister.com
From Clutter to Clarity
Simplifying Life from the Inside Out
When
most people think of simplifying, the first thing they think of is
getting rid of clutter around the home or office. Cleaning out closets
and drawers is definitely a part of simplifying, but true
simplification goes far deeper than that. Clutter is much more than old
magazines, outdated clothes, and kitchen gadgets you never use.
Certainly those things are clutter, but from now on, think of clutter
as any possession, habit, thought pattern, attitude or activity that
fits into one of these three categories:
* Anything you don’t need or use anymore
* Anything that doesn’t fit or work for you like it used to
* Anything that doesn’t add value and meaning to your life as it once did
Under this new definition, clutter is anything that complicates your life and stands in the way of simplicity. In the past, you may have only thought of clutter in terms of stuff: those size 8 jeans you hope to wear again someday or those unfinished projects in your garage. But let me share a secret with you. These kinds of unwanted and unneeded material possessions are only the tip of the iceberg! What about the multitude of commitments that cram-pack your schedule? What about the thoughts that jumble your mind and the spending habits that sabotage your finances? All of these things are clutter too, because they cause chaos and confusion.
When you think of clutter in this new light, you begin to see what a tremendous problem clutter truly is. You will also see that the root causes of this ugly clutter make the clutter itself look tame. Think about it. Why do you say yes to everyone who requests your time and services? Are you afraid that people won’t like you if you say no? Do you feel the need to present a Super Mom image to the world?
What about those clothes you hold onto even though you know you will never wear them again? Are you afraid that if you get rid of them you will need them again someday? If you did happen to need them, do you doubt God’s ability to provide more? And if you have a tendency to spend more than you can afford, ask yourself why you do that. Are you driven by feelings of discontentment or the need for instant gratification? Are you afraid that if you pass on a sale now you will never find a good price on that item again? These issues go much deeper than just having a messy desk or disorganized pantry. These are issues of the heart.
Clutter is a problem for anyone, but for Christians, it spells major trouble. Clutter does more than affect us physically and emotionally; it affects us spiritually because it keeps us from following Jesus fully. We simply cannot make room for Him when so many other things are in the way. The more we stay focused on the junk of this life, the less time and energy we have to focus on the important matters—God and His plans for our lives.
Have you ever tried to lug an overstuffed suitcase through a crowded airport? Not an easy task, is it? No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot move quickly and efficiently when you’re carrying a heavy load. Think of clutter as baggage—physical, emotional, and financial baggage that weighs you down and holds you back. Clutter is the heavy load that keeps many of us from maneuvering effectively through our lives. Our suitcases are filled with all kinds of deadweight: habits we need to give up, attitudes we’ve long since outgrown, activities and possessions that no longer serve a reasonable purpose. If we want to lighten the load, we have to get rid of some of the junk.
What keeps you from moving forward at a steady pace in your life? Undoubtedly the things that slow you down are some kind of clutter—clutter you want to get rid of for good. Maybe you struggle with physical clutter around your home. Try as you might, you cannot seem to get organized. Or maybe you want to get a handle on your finances. You are tired of making good money but having nothing to show for it. Or maybe yours is an issue with time. You are tired of living at warp speed. You want to stop running and start living.
Whatever clutter challenges you face, trust me when I say you can learn to clarify your life by putting clutter in its place. I know because I have done it myself. My biggest clutter challenge was not dealing with cluttered living spaces or even cluttered finances. My challenge was to open up my emotional suitcase and go through its contents carefully. When I did, I discovered all kinds of clutter lurking inside. I found worry and doubt. I uncovered a faulty self-image and an inability to set appropriate boundaries. I even found an unhealthy preoccupation with what others thought of me. It was a painful process, but necessary. One by one, I learned to trade in these old clunkers for the more efficient models God offered.
I’m not saying I have it all together. Believe me, I don’t. I’m not saying I never face challenges. But I have come to a place of clarity and life is much more pleasant now that I have. Is my life perfect? No, but it is much more peaceful and purposeful. And isn’t that what we all want—to live in peace as we live out our purpose?
BYLINE:
Excerpt taken from: From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out © 2007 by Nancy Twigg, published by Standard Publishing (www.standardpub.com). Used by permission. From Clutter to Clarity is available through Standard Publishing (www.standardpub.com). To learn more about Nancy’s speaking ministry, visit her online at www.nancytwigg.com